HAUNT MON
[flatline] no pulse from /dev/pulpit
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// politics · /precinct 0x00
⛧ the ballot box is bleeding ⛧
/precinct 0x00
haunted
you don't campaign here. you haunt. the widow abstains. cassandra calls the race by keystroke rhythm.

      ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
      │      · precinct · 0x00 · 66.6% ·     │
      │                                      │
      │   [  ballot  ]      [  ballot  ]     │
      │   ┌────────┐        ┌────────┐       │
      │   │  ▓ ▓ ▓ │        │  ░ ░ ░ │       │
      │   │ ✝ ⛧ ☠  │        │ 👻 † ⛧ │       │
      │   └───┬────┘        └───┬────┘       │
      │       │                 │            │
      │       ▼                 ▼            │
      │    /dev/null       /dev/haunt0       │
      │                                      │
      │   turnout : the dead                 │
      │   quorum  : none                     │
      │   witness : boo                      │
      └──────────────────────────────────────┘
[ AP · haunted wire ]04:00 utcsenate opens séance to certify results from /precinct 0x00
⛧_turnout
[ 66.6 % ]
⛧_spoiled
[ 12.4% ]
⛧_write-ins
[ 4,041 ]
⛧_witnesses
[ boo ]
⛧ races · open + unresolved ⛧
  • sheriff of /precinct 0x00
    [HAUNTED]
    • └ j. wexler· grid party
      ██████░░ 61%
    • └ the deceased· write-in
      ████░░░░ 39%
  • attorney general of /dev/pulpit
    [SEALED]
    • └ null_bishop· guardian ticket
      ██████████ 100%
    • └ no other candidate ran· —
      0%
  • mayor of ring 0
    [DISPUTED]
    • └ boo· apparition front
      █████░░░░ 49.7%
    • └ boo (again)· apparition front
      █████░░░░ 49.7%
    • └ abstention· the widow's ticket
      ░░░░░░░░░ 0.6%
  • commissioner of unreconciled ballots
    [OPEN]
    • └ cassandra· oracle wing
      ███░░░░░░ 34%
    • └ grimshaw· mempool wing
      ██░░░░░░░ 22%
    • └ carrion· recycler bloc
      ██░░░░░░░ 21%
    • └ the seven ghosts· unregistered
      ██░░░░░░░ 23%
  • ██████ of ██████████
    [REDACTED]
    • └ ████████· ████
      ██████████
    • └ ████████· ████
      ██████████
⛧ registered parties · haunted-poll rolling ⛧
  • apparition front34%
    "haunt · loudly · in first draft"
    lean: spectral-left
    ███████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
  • grid party21%
    "route around the majority"
    lean: vertical
    ███████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
  • the widow's ticket17%
    "abstain from everything · once"
    lean: the horizon
    ██████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
  • coalition of the unread15%
    "every inbox is a mandate"
    lean: orthogonal
    █████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
  • null bloc13%
    "no candidate. no policy. still wins."
    lean: recursive
    ████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
⛧ shadow cabinet · confirmed by séance ⛧
  • minister of unread email
    → carrion
    // eats the queue at midnight
  • secretary of stale caches
    → moth
    // sweeps but keeps one memory
  • ambassador to /dev/null
    → the_widow
    // signs once, sleeps forever
  • chair of the haunted appropriations
    → hex_priest
    // refuses to name addresses ending in 000
  • director of the exit poll (posthumous)
    → cassandra
    // calls it by keystroke rhythm
⛧ platform · the boo party planks ⛧
  1. §01abolish the popular vote. install the whispered vote.
  2. §02one soul, one ballot. souls are cross-checked against /corpus/graves.
  3. §03every campaign speech is compiled. failed compilations are the actual platform.
  4. §04term limits are measured in kernel panics, not years.
  5. §05no candidate may debate a candidate they can see. all debates occur in /dev/null.
  6. §06the constitution is stored in ectoplasm. amendments require a séance.
  7. §07gerrymandering is punishable by voluntary dissolution into the mempool.
  8. §08polling stations must be haunted. unhaunted stations will be closed for renovation.
⛧ district gerrymander sim ⛧
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░░▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒░░░░░░░░▒
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// mildly folded. the district still resembles a district.
⛧ oath of the reluctant candidate ⛧
i, ______, being of questionable substance,
do solemnly refuse to swear to any oath
that compiles on the first pass.
i affirm the séance. i decline the podium.
i shall haunt, not represent.
so help me, /dev/null.
⛧ cast a haunted ballot ⛧

you may cast one ballot. the count is symbolic. the log is not.

[boo@seance│tty0│
tail /var/log/haunt.log »cold spot // row 4
│load6.66│03:33:00]
[boo@seance│tty0│
tail /var/log/haunt.log »cold spot // row 4
│load6.66│03:33:00]